After a long hiatus

Wow, it's seems my blogspot is swarmed by spider web everywhere. well, it's been nearly 2 years since i write the last entry on this blog. Things went by so quickly. I finally graduated from university and have a job i didn't like. I'm at Jakarta right now, working on the job i didn't like. Did i already mention it earlier? Well, actually, back at 2016. I spend my days working for Uber for 5-6 months, i can't quite recall on how much time i spend in there because i also hate the job. i mean, it went well, but you know.. so many things goes wrong during the ending of the company. it's a sad things, but life goes on. But before that, i have a good job, or more like a job that i do enjoy it. I work with United Nation for like only a week in an International scale event. I met with two cool dudes from Italy. We talk a lot about video games and pop culture. So, anyway, today was a boring day at work. so i decided to re-read my writing on my notes. and subjectively speaking, i think my writing was quite good, so i decide to continue writing in. So probably i'm going to recap my life during 2017. Well, actually there's nothing really happened. But there's one moment that really shock me. i lost my cousin. he past away because of motorcycle accident. 2017 is suck. 2017 is the year of struggling. struggling to graduate and coping with the awful feeling of non-productivity. Now i have already graduated & have a job. But i really miss my college year in Malang. I realize that after all this time, i always taken it for granted. by the way it has been 3 weeks since i start working in this place. well, i don't really hate it. i just don't like it. there's the different there. i have already apply jobs on a cigarette company. i have failed before, but i have a feeling that i'm going to accepted this time. but well, we don't know what future bring. but i really want to work there, but if i work there, i would be relocated outside this city which actually kinda suck.

Anyway, the post above is actually a draft i wrote 3 months ago. now, 3 months later, a lot of things has changed in so many ways. first of all, no i don't work at cigarette company. but i do quit for those sad miserable job and move to much more cooler job that i enjoy it. i now working in an artificial intelligence company with so many cool people in it that make my job is much more enjoyable. But yeah things has just started and there are so many challenge ahead to be conquered. it's a whole new world for me, i have a lot of things to catch up. so that's it, maybe... see you later alligator?

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Rambling

Well it has been november already. it's that time of the year where everything is soak wet. it's 1:48 am when i'm writing this on the veranda of my home, exhaling smoke i stole from my brother. i'm supposedly graduate right now, but life is not always like what it's supposed to be. instead of writing thesis, i end up writing this journal. but yeah, whatever. frankly speaking, i kind of fed up of academic bullshit. anyway, my life have been jugling between became a student and an employee right now. three months ago, one of my friend offer me a job as a marketing officer in one of the biggest start up company. i quite enjoyed it right now, but i can't spend my time wisely between job and thesis, so my thesis is kind of messed up right now. i actually don't know what am i supposed to write either, i just want to write. it's been quite a while since the last time i post something on this blog. so basically, i just want to keep up and writing something that really reflect me at this current moment.

Being 23 years old in this nowadays society is really stressful. dude, admit it, this is the most awkward phase in a lifetime, midlife crisis hits me really hard. but on the bright side, having midlife crisis early is better rather than later when you're older and everything is too late. in this time of age, you have to decide everything that mostly will determine how you will live for the rest of your life. "how do you want to be remembered?" my sister ask that question recently on a family casual meeting. shit, i didn't prepare for that. but what's the point? even though you're Obama or Justin Bieber, in the end of the day when the sun is blow up and the galaxy is suck into a black hole, there will be no one ever witness that human race ever existed. that's is the truth, whether you like it or not. we are all gonna die someday. i know it's pretty depressing but that's that. that's why i believe there is some greater meaning for existence rather than chasing other shitty bullshit social status that is actually only a made up thing. Shit.

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