Rambling

Well it has been november already. it's that time of the year where everything is soak wet. it's 1:48 am when i'm writing this on the veranda of my home, exhaling smoke i stole from my brother. i'm supposedly graduate right now, but life is not always like what it's supposed to be. instead of writing thesis, i end up writing this journal. but yeah, whatever. frankly speaking, i kind of fed up of academic bullshit. anyway, my life have been jugling between became a student and an employee right now. three months ago, one of my friend offer me a job as a marketing officer in one of the biggest start up company. i quite enjoyed it right now, but i can't spend my time wisely between job and thesis, so my thesis is kind of messed up right now. i actually don't know what am i supposed to write either, i just want to write. it's been quite a while since the last time i post something on this blog. so basically, i just want to keep up and writing something that really reflect me at this current moment.

Being 23 years old in this nowadays society is really stressful. dude, admit it, this is the most awkward phase in a lifetime, midlife crisis hits me really hard. but on the bright side, having midlife crisis early is better rather than later when you're older and everything is too late. in this time of age, you have to decide everything that mostly will determine how you will live for the rest of your life. "how do you want to be remembered?" my sister ask that question recently on a family casual meeting. shit, i didn't prepare for that. but what's the point? even though you're Obama or Justin Bieber, in the end of the day when the sun is blow up and the galaxy is suck into a black hole, there will be no one ever witness that human race ever existed. that's is the truth, whether you like it or not. we are all gonna die someday. i know it's pretty depressing but that's that. that's why i believe there is some greater meaning for existence rather than chasing other shitty bullshit social status that is actually only a made up thing. Shit.