We always have a choice

               A brand new life has started, after all of those struggle,finally I made it, I quit from my broken past. So I'll tell you from the beginning......

Its started when the second semester begun,I hardly to pay my college cost because I don't want to stay at that place again,I was sick and I can't stand it anymore. But my parents force me to stay at that place for at least one semester and then I cantake course to take another national exam next year. So with hard feeling I pay for those fuckin college payment,and I regret it. I just attend the class for just a week or two weeks,I don't remember it right and I don't freakin care,past is just a past right? Let it go. So long story short,I decided to take a break for calming down my trembling mind for a while,I take a trip to malaysia,to my dad's place. I went there with my mom and brother,I thought my dad has already understand why I'm leaving and take the trip,but no he's doesn't know a single thing and don't even understand why I'm leaving,he just blame at me and insisted me to stay at there. But I said no,I've already made decision for my future....

The two weeks trip doesn't enjoyed me at all,but at least I leave that college and don't see that place and it made me somehow more calm. And it is important to me to get more calm and leaving that world for a while because I guess I've got some mentally illness or kind of thing. Yes,I've try to visit to psychology treatment at near my former college,but I don't made it because it cost me a lot of money,poor me. So maybe I just need to make my head cool and let the time heal it. Back to the main story,I hardly spend my time at Malaysia even though my dad's place is way much better than my own. But that not make me happy,I don't know.... The place kind of isolated by lonely and the peoples there are hardly to see,you know.. The typical of city's people who enjoy solitude,but yeah sometimes I think solitude is a bliss,sometimes.. I spend my whole time at there without any information source from my city,no phone no bbm no internet service just a quiet loneliness surrounding,but I made a contact to the 'outside' world once in a while using wi-fi at mcdonald's place,but yea just once in a while. So at that time I think even though the place provide anything good and well but it doesn't satisfied me,like there's something hollow,something missing,like friends.

I hardly arguing with my dad for my decision and he just like always never want to understand,he said my major that I want doesn't has good future,he just blame me and said that I'm just wasting money,yeah I admit it I'm wasting money if I'm leaving,but its better before its going to be worse. And so when I'm leaving the airport we don't say a words,my dad try to speak to me but I just ignored it,I don't care,I already pissed off at that time. After 4 hours flight finally I got back to my town,Surabaya. My dad still pushed me to attend the class when I'm already back to hometown,but yes you know me,I don't attend any class. I choose to study social major by my self to pass national exam next year,I borrow a few books from my social-class mate when I was on high school. And while the time passed I gained knowledge few by few. I wasn't alone at that time,I mean its just not me who try to quit from that engineering college,there was a few friends of mine who can't stand shit anymore,it was Dendy Suarista alias Kemi from chemical science major,Aven from environment engineering major and Sayid from material and metallurgy engineering major. Actually there are the two other pals who struggle with those exam too. There are Syahdad and Danny who hadn't accepted on college on the year before. The six of us now struggling to quit our broken fate,but it just me and Danny who take a-month-acceleration-course. But once in a while I studied in college's library with them. I studied hard because I know that's was the only one thing that can make me passed the test and walk on my path.

So,long story short. Aven and I finally made it. Aven looks so satisfied with it,he accepted in business and management school on ITB, while Syahdad is accepted in communication science major at Udayana University. Even though I passed the test but I'm a bit disappointed with the result. I choose communication science major at UGM in the first place,but I accepted in Brawijaya University in malang,so perhaps I failed right now but maybe this is my fate to walk on this path. Different with us,Sayid and Dendy didn't make it. So Sayid has no other option. he stay at his college. But Dendy keep struggling,he take a few private test which is very expensive at payment,but he made it he accepted in Management Science at Airlangga University. Same like Dendy, Danny finally accepted at Trisakti University majoring accounting. Anyway, Danny and his family now has moved to Bogor to starting their new life.

Six of us now lived separately chasing own future. Well,if people said that we have a choice,it was true. Life start with Birth and end with Death. But there's C between B - D. Well I guess life is about this C. we always have a Choice